He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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