Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
