I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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