He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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