There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
