I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
