Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
