this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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