I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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