I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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