New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
