but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
