You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
should my penis look like a turkey
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
