Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
