why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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