we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
They took my balls.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
