Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
