I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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