sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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