New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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