They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
