At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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