He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
BRING THE BAGELS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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