We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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