Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize