How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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