Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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