I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
