I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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