I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
