So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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