you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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