i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
zippers are such a cool invention
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
