do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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