just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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