i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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