roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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