That's intense
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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