i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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