I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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