Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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