But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
