carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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