The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
