C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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