He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
