i think my tv is drunk
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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