Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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