the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
