Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
