I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
