My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
