U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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