she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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