May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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