Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
