So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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