I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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