please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize