I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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